Thursday, April 26, 2012

Hump Day

Not Wednesday! The movie. I watched this movie the other night with a girlfriend. A girlfriend or a girlfriend, you ask? Perhaps a little of column a, a little of column b. Anyhow, here's the link to the wikipedia page

(I often find a like the wikipedia page about movies better than the imdb page, though imdb does have the nice trivia section)

I am uncertain how to feel about this movie. I both liked it and didn't, I feel more conflicted about it than just about anything ever. In my entire life. So I think that means the movie was good, then, because it got me thinking. Right? But it also made me like... tear my hair out.

The story is that 2 best friends from college or some such nonsense reunite after not having seen each other in 10 or so years. One is married, sort of a straight-arrow type who doesn't want you think he's a square. He's hip, he's cool, right? He and his wife have just decided to get pregnant. The other is a world-traveler, hobo-ish, Jack Kerouac hipster wannabe. He shows up at the house of the straight-arrow and his wife, who's sex life seems to be a little uninteresting though comforting and loving.

Then the BFFs go to what appears to be an average weekday night hippie potluck polyamory gathering at an artist community house where a girl the hipster wannabe just met lives. Straight-arrow is immediately put slightly off his game by the fact that one of the girls hanging out in the house is already dating the girl who his friend just met, and appears to not be upset at all by the fact that his friend and her GF are making out in the other room. Crazy!

They get increasingly more drunk and high as the night wares on, all the while the wife is patiently waiting to serve them pork chops for dinner at home. They end up sort of daring each other to make a gay porno with each others for Humpfest, the porn film festival for amateurs that the Stranger holds in Seattle once a year. They think that nothing could be more artistic then 2 heterosexual dudes boning each other for the sake of bro-like love.

The next day they awake hungover, but neither will back down from the dare. So they essentially act like macho assholes about not chickening out and actually going through with the filming. Kerouac asks Square "won't his wife care? " And Sqaure sort of tries to make it sound like their polyamorous and his wife will be totally cool with it. Various forms of wackyness happen from there, as you can well imagine.

Do they go through with it? Well, I can't tell you that because you have to watch it. But I will say that the ending is extremely disappointing, which probably makes the answer pretty obvious.

This film tip-toes right up to the line of ground-breaking work in the realm of human sexuality and relationships, even sticks it's big toe slightly over the line, but then runs away with all the glee of a small child that has been caught doing something slightly naughty and foolish. I was really hoping for it to smash the line, color outside of it and show utter disregard for what is "normal."

Still, this was no romantic comedy. It was one of the most honest films I've ever seen when it came to the conversations had between the husband and the wife. Their ultimate resolution to the problem hints at a relationship strong enough to be polyamorous, even though it's not clear if that's where the end up going. The relationship between the heterosexual best male friends is incredibly honest too, and feels genuinely loving. These are 2 guys who would definitely have a romantic relationship if only that silly old gay sex was keeping them straight.

Ultimately, I would recommend it for anyone who enjoys over-thinking and over-analyzing relationships and human interaction of any type. Also, the Kerouac inspired character was played by the same guy who plays the camera guy in the Blair Witch Project. He still acts?!

Once the movie was over, my girlfriend and I spent at least a half hour trying to figure out how to initiate sex with each other, much like our heroes of Humpday when it came time to film their love for one another. She and I had never had sex with just each other before; only threesomes where our various shared men initiating things. Honestly one of the most confusing things to me about having sex with another woman is who initiates, who leads, who "fucks" and who is "fucked." Ridiculous, I know. I think I just need to practice more.

What was interesting about who initiated between us was that we both sort of ended up doing it, after we both mutually put it off forever in self-aware "we sure are silly" sort of way. I began to give her a massage, she reciprocated. I held her hand, she moved in for the kiss. I'm glad we eventually did it though, because it was awesome. I love fingering other dames- since I don't have a penis, it's sort of the closest thing I have sensation-wise. I love just looking at pussies. I love feeling them get wet. I got super wet myself going down on her and fingering her, and I once again put my oft-questioning mind at ease. I sometimes feel like I have no actual lesbian or even bi or queer cred. But then I take a magical vagina journey, and I feel pretty credible for at least a day or two.

I am at least 100% more gay than the character of Humpday. I'll tell you that much.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Pegging: It's For Everyone!

Guess what I recently gave a whirl on a partner's whim, even though I thought I wouldn't enjoy that much personally? If you read the title of this post, you can probably guess.

I have used a strap-on many a time. One of my consistent turn-ons so far as fantasy goes is women dominating other women, and especially mean tops with stylish strap-ons. So of course it makes sense that I would have one. But I have always felt that strap on sex with women was somewhat, well, unsatisfying for lack of a better word. Perhaps my fantasies have always built it up too much? Perhaps it's because I want to be able to feel myself moving in and out of her, but I can't actually feel my cock? Perhaps it's that I actually really like being penetrated, and I'm a little jealous when penetrating another woman? Selfish, selfish Kitten.

Boy butts were a territory my cock and I had not yet entered until recently, though. I'd always sort of felt like boy butts were kinda gross. All hairy and sweaty and musky. And everyone knows men don't wipe as well. OK, that was a cheap shot and absolutely not true. But those sorts of gender stereotypes are so deeply ingrained into our brains sometimes, you just end up thinking them even though you know they're incorrect. Also, I had only ever had one ex even express interest, and his was more of a something we might do if our relationship "reached that point" or some sort of bull shit like that. Hey, I was only 22. Our relationship never reached the point, but I hope he found a nice girl to do it with him. And here's why:

It's fucking incredible.

I actually think it may have been better for me than my patient bottom, but don't get me wrong- he had fun too. What was amazing for both of us, though, was the role reversal. I don't even know how to talk about it without sounding like a cliche of a sex counselor. But it really, really felt to me like I was in his shoes. And I think to some degree he felt the same way.

We couldn't even figure out how to begin. Or maybe I couldn't figure out is more accurate. But our sex usually follows a script. An extremely hot, and satisfying script that is mutually fulfilling for both of us, but a script nonetheless.  We make out, and he takes over. He tops me, usually by being literally on top of me. I don't really like face sitting, so I don't always go for that. I will sometimes go for 69, and will often go for just cock sucking, but usually have to awkwardly make my transition into it, almost always verbally asking for it eventually. I like cowgirl, but I love missionary and doggy and anything where he is fucking me. In fact, cowgirl is best for me when getting fucked from the bottom.

So yeah, I'm a bottom. It's what I find sexually satisfying. And here we are, the night where we know we're gonna bend him over. Yet here he is on top of me, and I find my transition to be awkward yet again. I think we both may have eluded to it somehow, though, and eventually we made it around to me "topping" which is still really him topping from the bottom, but a step in the right direction.

I played with his ass and experimented with some different things. I licked it while he jerked off, fucked it with my tongue. I had done that with him a few times before, and plenty of ladies, but this night was magic because I started thinking "hey, I wonder if this is what it's like licking my ass?" which is where the whole role reversal thing really started to click for me. I rubbed my fingers on the outside, then stuck one in. Eventually I got bold and tried 2, but it wasn't comfortable so we went back to 1. He started to get into it, but I was too slow and too gentle, so he helped me take it up a notch. I realized that he had learned from so much topping experience how to best guide me without hurting my feelings or making me self-conscious. And I had enough experience taking it in the ass that I could be gentle and try to really feel what his body was saying, thinking about how my body reacts to certain things.

I was going to attempt to build him up to what was actually a pretty small, thin dildo, but he was ready to go. I had to stop and put my strap-on on; something I will definitely plan in advance next time (sheesh, what a n00b, huh?). I had him jack-off while I got suited up, and then knelt over him in missionary position. I pushed the head of my cock against his asshole and before long it was engulfed, his body stiff with adjustment and excitement.

Oh, so this is what it's like fucking someone in the ass? In all my strap-on adventures with women, I had never done that exactly. Fingers and tongue in ass, sure. But I actually had a cock, albeit one not attached to my body, inside of a really tight ass. I could feel it pulling my cock in more, and trying to hold on to it as I slid out. I sped up just a tiny amount, but he asked me t keep it slow. I basically started just rocking my hips back in forth in a rolling motion, like and ocean. I could see how intense it was written all over his face, his eyes closed and his head to the side. He was moaning a lot more than usual. Basically, he looked exactly what I feel like when I'm taking it up the ass.

We found a good rhythm and kept it up. He was stroking his cock all the while, and he began to increase in speed and roughness with that. As he did, I fucked him a little harder. I didn't ever fuck him real hard; I never even got a chance for my hips to get tired like I usually do when I'm fucking someone. But something about the intensity of it increased. He felt strung as tight as a wire, full of electricity. Like he was about to explode. I reached my hand around and began fingering myself and moaning along with him.

And then he did explode. All over his stomach and chest.

And I'll admit it, it was totally my goal for that to happen. That should never, ever be the goal when fucking someone. To "make" them come. But really, he made himself come and I helped. And it was beautiful to be able to share that with him, from the opposite perspective of where I usually share it.

This was definitely a small step in my development as a top. I certainly don't think of myself as the patent-leather booted dominatrix of yore. And this is a situation where I wouldn't have been able to top if it had been anyone else. But now that I have with him, I can take on others. Now that I understand that topping is about so much more than just taking what you want; it's actually more about giving and then getting what you want out of that. Before, I only ever really understood that in theory.

And to the point of the title of this blog: I think everyone should do this. Every couple should switch roles every so often. I will even take it to the point that I think every couple should do each other in the ass. Doesn't matter your genders or orientations- everyone has an asshole! That may be a bit advanced for some of you readers, I know. But the ass is a powerful sexual tool. I have discovered a new way to enjoy it, and you should too!

Sunday, April 1, 2012


How have I never written about squirting on here? It's one of my favorite things in the whole world. Not only do I love to do it personally, but I am obsessed with it. I love porn with squirting, love hearing about other women squirting. I've never seen another lady do it in person, but I would just about die for the opportunity to. It's so beautiful, vulnerable, feels so good. I want to share it with the world

I hear that many women squirt from g-spot stimulation, but alas that is not for me. I'm all about the clit, and powerful vibrators are what do it for me. I can usually only do it lying on my back or in a sitting position, but I have been able to do it squatting a few times. Never on my hands and knees, but I always try to because then I could see it really well. It's easiest for me to do alone, but I sometimes do it with a partner watching me, and perhaps assisting a bit with some fingering. I have done it a few times during PIV, but the cock needs to be pulled out for it to happen. And I have to be using a vibrator at the same time, of course.

There is a sense of intense release that occurs for me with a squirting orgasm that I don't get from a non-squirter. Which isn't to say I don't love all orgasms, but I do try to squirt every few days just to get that special release. I wish I even knew how to begin to describe how it feels, but it's really hard for me. I have to have a very long orgasm. Basically, I will start to cum, and then I will really focus. I will put my whole mind into the orgasm, and try to take it deeper. My hand seems to know exactly how to move the vibrator around, and what pressure to use. No one else can get me quite there, though some have come close. I go deeper and deeper into the orgasm until a really intense pressure will build up. Yes, it feels like I have to pee, and for all I know that's exactly what I'm doing. But it feels so much better than having to pee. Much deeper, much more arousing, like every nerve in my body is on fire and concentrating on pushing things out of my pussy.

Then, all of sudden, liquid will start to drip out. Sometimes I have to stop right there, because it's too good and I become too sensitive. But sometimes I can push it farther, and when I do I will usually get a nice stream spurting out and landing on my thigh. I love how warm it is, and how gooey; gooier than I would expect. My pussy will be swollen and red after a session like that, and won't go down for about a half an hour. I have to go wipe up, not just from the squirting but also because my hole is always dripping wet. If I was showing off for a partner, I love to have them penetrate me right after I squirted. I can usually continue to cum that way, because I'm so sensitive. I can cum from the inside! Though it won't make me squirt again.

I want to squirt on all my lovers. I want to cum in their mouths, and on their dicks and pussies. I want to see them jerk off with my squirt as lube. I want to squirt into a cup and then have someone drink it. I want to squirt in my own mouth and all over my own body. I want to do it on camera and share it with the Internet. I want to squirt so many times that I have to wash the soaked sheets. I want to have a dozen girls squirt on me in a bukkake fashion. I want to collect a jar full of squirt and then use it to make flowers grow.

Sorry, got a little carried away there :)