Thursday, September 29, 2011

Anal Sex Musings

Last week I had anal sex twice, which is totally adventurous for me. I usually do it like once a week, tops. It can be a bit... intense? To do too often? And there's this whole conflict within me on to clean up or not to clean up. But you know what? I love anal sex. Love it. In this post, I would like to try to describe love of anal sex. I'm not sure I can because it's just so indescribable. It just feels so good, and I don't even know how to put it into words.

An easy place to start: it makes me cum like crazy. Well, not just having a cock in my ass. I have to be rubbing my clit or using a vibrator too. But it just is so easy and intense and constant with a cock in my ass. I've been trying to figure out why this might be. Is it psychological because it's so dirty? I don't think so. It's all physical I think. It feels so amazing. You know, when done right. But I won't even go there, the people who put things in my ass at this time in my life are really good at it. It makes me hard just thinking about how good they are at it. And I'm pretty good at doing it to myself too.

Now the hard part that I am still avoiding is describing what it feels like. So, how does it feel. Hm. It gives me the tingles. Goosebumpy feelings all over my body. It immediately causes that warm sensation all over my body that I get right before I cum, too. In fact, I think it brings me right to the brink. Tingly warmness all over. And I love being able to have my whole pussy to play with, with my hand or my partners, while at the same time getting fucked. I love the feeling of having something pushed in and pulled out. I love the feeling of just having something in there, up to the hilt or just barely poking in. I can't take very big cocks in my ass at this point in my life- just a finger feels amazing. An average cock is incredible.

It makes me feel loved. Maybe that is psychological; but I think what I mean when I say that is that it actually elicits the physical response I feel from emotional love in me. Or something very similar.

And yes, it is fucking dirty. At least society thinks it is, and I pretty much have to agree since I was brought up that way.

Do I like anal better than vaginal? I'm not sure. I reeaaalllly like vaginal. Plus it's just so practical and good for every day fucking. I wouldn't be surprised if at some point in my life I prefer anal sex though. It is one heck of an awesome time.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A Sapphic Erotic Story

I wrote this a little while ago for an erotic spoken word event, and thought I would share it on here because I don't actually want to edit it ever or try to publish it somewhere fancy. Enjoy:

It wasn’t until I saw Elena’s dancing to glitch beats after  a friendly couples dinner that I realized I wanted her. Of course I knew nothing would happen. Nothing had ever happened between a girl and I, since I had been portraying myself as straight for my entire life. For all I knew, I was straight. But also curious. Very, very curious. And how could I know whether or not I liked girls until I had felt one? Tasted one?
We were on a double date, I suppose, though we were all too cool to call it anything like that. Brian had met Mark in college, and now Mark was in town along with his new girlfriend. The boys were at the bar, somehow managing to have a deep discussion about semantics over the music I was sure had blown my ear drums out. Elena and I had given up on them long ago and were dancing in that stupid way that girls do. The kind of dance you do to make the men smile and say “oh look at those girls teasing us!” I looked back at Brian to see him smiling a silly smile at us. I just knew he was thinking it was all a show for him and Mark, and every other guy in the bar.
For my part, at least, it wasn’t a show.
I turned back to Elena, and her full lips smiling at me too and a conspiratorial twinkle in her eyes. She spun around and started grinding her ass on my mound. Though she wasn’t really grinding into my clit, that was exactly where I felt it. I pulled her long, silky straight hair away from her back and tossed it over her shoulder, and somehow found myself with my mouth right over the spot where her neck and shoulder met. As awkward as I felt, uncertain of whether we were playing a game or what this was, something told me to bite. I sunk in, deep and animalistic. Her back arched and a noise escaped her lips that I couldn’t quite hear over the music.
I was terrified of her response suddenly, terrified that she would slap me our call me some name. Instead she grabbed my hand and pulled me off the dance floor and to the bar next to our boys, where she ordered 4 tequila shots for all of us.
With the shots she ordered in front us, she pushed mine to me and said in my ear, “drink this, you’re gonna need it,” then pushed the boys over where they immediately downed them before returning to their deep conversation. I raised my shot and clinked it to hers before gulping  it down quickly, an almost unpleasant burning running through my chest as I wondered to myself what she could have possibly meant with her little conspiratorial whisper. As silly as it seemed, I still couldn’t tell whether or not she was flirting with me or if she was just carrying on some fantastical bi-curious charade.
She leaned over to Mark and said something I couldn’t quite hear, but I thought it was probably something like, “off to the bathroom, girl talk,” and then pulled me by the hand after her once again. We were indeed headed for the ladies room, and my blood suddenly started pumping faster. I could feel it all rushing to my pussy, the thrill of having no idea what she was up to mixing with my confused sexual excitement.  I didn’t believe I was about to have my first experience with a woman, but even the barely eluded to idea of it was enough to make my underwear feel pleasantly damp against my swollen lips.
It became clear what she intended, however, after she pulled me into the same stall as her in front of the myriad of ladies in front of the sinks. Instead of the outrage at this move that I expected, the girls giggled and left the bathroom instead, leaving us alone for the moment.
Elena’s mouth was all over me; my lips, my neck. She lifted my t-shirt and pulled my tits out, suckling deeply on my nipples while I squirmed.  I desperately wanted to tell her that I had never been with a woman before, that I didn’t know what I was doing. But I could hardly get anything other than a sigh or moan past my lips. I tried to fumble at the buckle of her belt, but she stopped me.
“No, let me,” she said as she pushed my mini skirt up around my waist and pulled my panties aside.
Without thinking I kicked my leg up onto the toilet tank and spread my pussy lips wide for her she. She gently found my clit with her fingers and not so gently pulled my hair to the side, so that my neck was exposed. She sunk her teeth into the spot where my neck and shoulder met just as her finger slipped deep inside of me, and I let out a very load scream without even of thinking.  I didn’t even care if anyone had come into the bathroom anymore.
For some reason, that seemed like the right time to tell her I had never been with a woman before. I grabbed her hair in fistfuls and breathed out my confession between thrusts of her tiny hand that was somehow filling me to the brim, almost more than I could handle.
“Shhh….” She put her other hand to my lips and pushed me harder against the unstable wall of the stall, “just let me take care of you,” I sucked on her fingers just a bit before she moved her hand down to my neck and lightly wrapped her hand around it, not really choking me but with the threat there. She started pushing my clit with the palm of her hand and I responded by fucking her hand back, hard.
“Yeah, that’s it girl, show me how you cum,” and I did just when she said it, gripping her little fingers deep inside of me while my clit pulsed against her palm. It seemed like it would last forever, but eventually she backed off with both her hands, letting me breath and fall into her.
“Do you do this every woman on the first double date?” I asked and laughed.
“Only the cute ones,” she whispered in my ear again, “I want to fuck you with my tongue too, if you’re ready,” she purred, lighting my pussy on fire all over. I nodded and she kneeled down, sucking my clit deep into her mouth while her big, dark eyes looked up into mine.
“Ahhh! ,” I moaned, it was almost too much, “maybe a little slower,” and she flicked her tongue out, running it all the way down to my dripping hole and back up, and back down, slowly investigating every part of my cunt. I had never had someone lick every part of it before, it was new and amazing and felt so, so good.
 “That feels incredible,” I proclaimed as I looked into her eyes as her face came back up from being fully between my legs, “please, make me cum again.”
She pulled away and smiled a wicked grin once more before sucking my clit between her sweet lips again. As soon as I felt her tongue flicking against me inside her mouth, I came over and over and could feel my juices dripping out and over her chin. Once I felt like I couldn’t take anymore, I pulled her back up to my mouth a sucked every last drop off my cum off her face.
“For never having been with a woman before, you sure do know how to make a girl wet,” she laughed and pulled all my clothing back into place before I even had a chance to protest. When we left the stall, there was a woman sitting on the sink counter, arms folded but a smile on her face.
“I didn’t want to interrupt you two,” she said as she jumped off the counter, “the sounds coming from within there were just too wonderful. But we were receiving some complaints…”
“Oh, we’re so sorry,” Elena said, hugging me from behind, “I just couldn’t keep my hands off her, and she needed a woman’s touch very badly.”
“I understand completely,” the woman said “just get out of here so that my female customers can piss in peace,” Elena grabbed my hand again and we ran out of the bathroom and back to the bar, our boys still embroiled in the same conversation and oblivious to the flushed looks on our faces.
Or so I thought, until Brian turned to me and yelled over the music, “you guys were gone awhile!”
To my surprise, Mark winked at me and yelled back to him, “Elena gets off on girl talk!”

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Ascension V

Warning: before you go too far into this post, I should warn you that it is not about sex, or at least no things I find (too) sexy. Some people may find what I describe here sexy. I probably would not be one of them. Just didn't want anyone to be too disappointed.

Last night I drove for-fucking-ever to get to Colorado Springs, which is turns out I live a long ass way from. I didn't remember it being so far. But of course, I used to live in Denver. Which is much closer to the Springs than Boulder. I was alone and on a mission to attend an event I had high-ish hopes for, so the drive down wasn't too bad. Except for when my ipod burned out, as it is wont to do after about 45 minutes, and I had to listen to KTCL and 105.5 JACK FM. And that's ok sometimes, but not most of the time. Some of you might know what I mean, but probably not many since no one listens to radio any more.

I should also preface all this by saying that I was a little sick in the days previous to the event (a bit of stomach bullshit topped by a migraine, all stress induced I'm quite sure ((see lack of blog posts for a month))), and the dinner I ate previous to the events was small.

I show up and find my 1 friend there who I know, also on my little sex board with me which is why I was attending the event in the first place. To, uh, advertise our thing. She was bouncy and excited as she usually is at any fetish type thing, and wearing very little which I like to see on her. I do have a bit of a crush. I don't even know why I'm telling you all this, it's all pretty inconsequential to the story.

She showed me around a bit and then we moved into a crowded room downstairs to watch the first big kink demo of the night. Oh yeah, I forgot to say that this event was a sort of kinky demo show thing starring all the Colorado fetish all-stars. That seems like more important information than my friend being dressed sexy and me liking it. So, we're in a crowded room full of several variations of gothy geeky kinksters (you know who I'm talking about), and I see the girl who's bottoming for the demo has some flesh hooks in her thighs just above her knees. No problem right? I like getting pierced. I like watching others get pierced. I've seen flesh hook suspensions before... in movies. I'm a big girl this kind of stuff rarely makes me squeemish.

Unless, of course, I've been sick and had barely anything to eat. Don't worry, this isn't actually a story about me passing out. Which I've never actually done! But damn I've come close. Like I did last night.

This beautiful little doll with the flesh hooks above her knees is about to participate in some sort of suspension I can't remember because I've never heard of it before. As they're, ummm... securing her? To a thing that she will be suspended from? I notice she also has flesh hooks in her shoulders. There's this insane tension building in me for some reason, and I just can't wait to see how this goes down. I can also tell, as they begin to lift her off the stool she's sitting on bit by bit, that she's in a fair amount of pain. And loving it. I'm seeing her flesh lift from her bones and muscles, though, and I'm feeling rather empathic. I'm wondering what that must feel like, and boy... it's hot in here. I sure am hungry, my stomach is sort of roiling and feeling sick and hungry all at once. I'm thirsty. Parched in fact. Oh look! She's in the air now, and um, there's some spots dancing in front of my eyes. She looks so beautiful! And blissful and in so much fucking PAIN. And oh, jeez, I can't see her anymore and I'm feeling a little light headed. Maybe I'll just squat down on the floor for a minute.

Luckily, a lot of people are crouching down so that people behind them can watch, so it doesn't seem that strange. I take a few deep breaths and regain my sight. I look up at her and how happy and beautiful she is. There's blood trickling down her leg from one of the hooks in her thigh and dripping off the heel of her shoe onto the floor. Her skirt is floating in the breeze as the top gently swings her back and forth. Eventually, she asks to be brought back down, and she couldn't seem more high and overwhelmed. And truly, truly beautiful.

Alright, so it's over? I can safely get back up now, I think. I stand up way too fast and tell my friend I'm going to go upstairs in search of water and a bathroom (the plan being I will put my head between my knees in the stall until I'm all the way ok again and probably not as white as paper), and she starts to describe where the bathrooms are to me. And I can't see again, and everything she's saying is complete nonsense. It was so weird! My brain could not process language at all, and I was trying really, really hard. I don't actually remember what happened next, but I ended up crouching on the floor again and eventually came to. At this point the demo was over and no one was crouching on the floor anymore, and I was really embarrassed and thought everyone could probably tell what was going on. So, in what was probably the stupidest move ever, I got up and bolted up the stairs, where I again almost passed out. But I somehow pushed through, made into a chair upstairs, head between my legs, deep breaths... and finally OK. I get some water. I go to the bathroom. I tell my friend what happened and she goes "yeah, you seemed like your blood sugar was getting a little low, you had that look."

I'm still mystified as to why she didn't think my crouching behavior was unusual, but she got me some chocolate and then I watched several other demos that were not of the type that would apparently make me pass out. And then I drove home for-fucking-ever and it was much worse because it was so late and I was soooooo bored.

My take away from all of this is not what you might think: almost passing out feels really cool! I wonder if full on passing out actually makes a person feel like crap, but I kind of want to find out. I want to get to that point again where words don't make sense. And feel all sweaty cold/ hot at the same time. I am now taking suggestions on how to induce this state without doing breath play and/ or killing brain cells. My current idea is to not eat for a few days and then watch live heart surgery. And to have someone spot me.